28 September 2008


Lover, sending you an electrocardiogram of words, all up, down, muddled. I'm sick again, fading out into the Beloye More. That's how death will be, 60kms from the Arctic Circle, ship going out like a Varangian funeral pyre into ice, air and sun. You are my Aldeiga (Ladoga) lake where they are still pulling out corpses of sorry soldiers; I'm extracting my dead hopes out of you.But the ship, I never died on it. It was battered in a storm and Captain Kotik (a real pussy) informed us we may make it or we may not. Can everyone pray a little quieter? I'm trying to sleep- I'd rather be drowned in my sleep! Running to the upper deck I burnt my hand on the heating pipe mistaken for the stair rail. Below the faithful prayed amongst the scent of hard boiled eggs and celery, queasy, boiled eggs over easy. 'They pray below amongst sulphur scent and darkness for quick judgment.'Remember when I told you I want to burn like Jean D'Arc for faith, for freedom, a candle on the eve of Easter? We had such noble intentions and Arcadia was plundered, bullet holes pocked the fruit trees and her inhabitants cheerfully dismembered. We, King and Queen of our Arcadia, we didn't have Jonah, couldn't save Nineveh, there were no leviathans to swallow us whole to spew us up, newborn and gangly limbed on the beach. You didn't care.I've traveled far, Gardariki to Serkland flying, stumbling, looking up at the cross of worship, the constellations and the Southern Cross, pointing south, revealing Terra Australis Incognita. Here now, where the lines of my echogram sketch out my sick heart. I won't live through another war, the writing is up, down, everywhere.

1. Beloye More- White Sea
2. Ladoga- lake in north western Russia, still pulling corpses of WW2 soldiers out
3.Varangians- are ancestors of scandinavians, traveled to Russia and Ukraine and were the first rulers of Rus'. known as Varyagi in russian.
4. Captain Kotik- kotik means little tomcat in russian
5. Jonah and Nineveh- see old testament
6.Gardiriki- Russia (literally 'land of cities'). Serkland- Middle East (varangian names for these places)
7. southern cross- constellation of stars seen in the southern hemisphere
8. cross of worship, in solovetsky islands, built to withstand maritime conditions. no part of the wood touches the ground to prevent rotting.

No comments: