12 October 2009

American Gothic?



I'm reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, as a classic in the vampire genre it sits with Murnaus's 1922 film, Nosferatu. I have to say, I prefer my vampires to remain as grotesques; pointed ears, pasty faces, ugly toothed, wicked, debauched, debonair, elderly and eastern European. One (small) exception is the original and very funny, Buffy - The Vampire Slayer film with that '90s uber hottie -- whatsisface 90210. I want to say Luke Wilson but that was the basketball hottie at primary school. As much as I enjoyed the stupid gags and karate manoeuvres of the Buffy movie (which we used to replicate in my lounge room by judo rolling over couches and floors with our stakes - Derwent pencils in our case) - it was the inroad countless shit teen vampire enterprises needed.
It seems I can't blow my nose these days without hitting a Stephenie Meyer book or a Who Weekly with that smug, faux-scowling Edward character.
So I concede the possibility that Bronte's Heathcliff was a vampire and eternal love has always been a theme in vampire story-telling...so the romantic swooning has as much place as the spine tingling. At least Heathcliff had fire in his loins and a dark effin soul - what's with these toy boy scrawny juveniles pouting and posing in Twilight?

Leave it to the experts kids...
Like Klaus Kinsky who did the Werner Herzog version of Nosferatu. He is, himself, worthy of as much white nightie sleep-wandering along rugged English cliffs as the Graf (Count). When I was but young, maybe 13 or 14 I purchased a Marie Claire magazine at the hospital. I'm not sure if they still do it but they used to run a bio on the last few pages. That's when I learnt about this Klaus. And my oh my was a small part of my innocence stolen by his story. It had everything; nymphomania, German cinema, war orphans...he even got it on with his sister when he was a kid. And shut your ears if you want to keep your innocence but I've never been able to shrug this image -- he said something about her punani being like a moist living clam beckoning to him *shudders*
If you are after a vampire or a bad ass son of a bratch, put down your copy of New Moon and take a walk after midnight.

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